American Psychological Association
conclusion of that therapeutic efforts or even extreme measures like exorcisms to change people's sexual orientation from gay to straight (the only kind of change there seems to be much demand for) don't work
At the Movies
Ben (I Am Legend is "one of the greatest movies ever made") Lyons and Ben (never said anything quite that stupid, at least not on the show) Mankiewicz are fired as co-hosts of
Barrett, Justin
lawsuit is filed by against the Boston Police Department (and the police commissioner and mayor) demanding compensation for the "pain and suffering; mental anguish; emotional distress; posttraumatic stress; sleeplessness; indignities and embarrassment; degradation; injury to reputation; and restrictions on personal freedom" endured by as a result of the suspension and threatened termination of for sending an e-mail renowned for its racism but insufficiently recognized for its misogyny and illiteracy
Beck, Glenn
fans of are urged by not to vent their frustrations by going out and killing a bunch of people because it would be very bad for Republicans
Chirac, Jacques
2003 phone call is recounted by in which George W. Bush said "Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East" and the only way to keep the biblical prophecies of the Apocalypse from being fulfilled was to invade Iraq
Church of Scientology
more defectors from tell more horror stories about
response by to horror stories told by defectors from
ridiculous fashion statement is mandated by for global staffers of, possibly leading to more defectors from
Clinton, Bill
two American journalists are freed from North Korean jail thanks to the diplomatic efforts of, which, of course, greatly upsets the ultimate undiplomat John Bolton and the nasty little troll Dick Morris
Fox News
ignorance of just exactly where some of those Middle Eastern countries are, anyway, is hilariously displayed by
Fromme, Lynette (Squeaky)
imminent parole of is announced of all times mere days before the 40th anniversary of the Manson murders
health-care reform
town-hall meetings about are disrupted by angry mobs funded by corporations determined to prevent
Hughes, John
death of at the age of 59
Jefferson, William
conviction of on 11 corruption charges
Liasson, Mara
absurd comparison by of the minimally glitch-ridden but definitely successful cash-for-clunkers program to the unprecedentedly disastrous government response to Hurricane Katrina
Murdoch, Rupert
posting of $3.4 billion loss by News Corp. prompts announcement by of intention of to charge for all online content controlled by
Obama, President Barack
problems with alleged Kenyan birth certificate of
O'Neal, Ryan
the very definition of too much information "I had just put [Farrah Fawcett's] casket in the hearse and was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, 'Daddy, it's me [EM] Tatum!'" is volunteered to Vanity Fair by
Palin, quitter Sarah
report of imminent divorce of is followed by obligatory unconvincing denial by spokeswoman for, which is followed by uncarried-out threat against blogger by lawyer for, which is followed by another perfunctory unconvincing denial by
Prince, Erik
extremely serious allegations are made about
Radio Shack
attempted rebranding of as "The Shack" provides excellent excuse to revisit two-year-old Onion article mocking
Ratigan, Dylan
belief of that it would be hilarious to embarrass unsuspecting guest Jonathan Capehart by broadcasting footage of him gobbling down a bagel in the few moments he had to eat before appearing on the MSNBC show of is not shared by Capehart's mother Margaret, who calls in two days later to read the riot act "My son is not a clown, O.K.? ... he's not a clown, he's not a kid at a birthday party where you take pictures and show the family, you know; this is national TV, and I really didn't appreciate it, and it really pissed me off" to
Schulberg, Budd
death of at the age of 95
Stanley, Alessandra
public humiliation of "a television critic with a history of errors [BRACKET {who}] wrote hastily and failed to double-check her work" by New York Times ombudsman aghast at the number of errors in Cronkite appraisal dashed off by
Taitz, Orly
lunatic beliefs of
MSNBC meltdown of
Washington Post
Mouthpiece Theater, an attempt at humor as lame and unfunny as anything that has ever existed on the Internet, is mercy-killed by, but not before being brilliantly and brutally savaged
Wolffe, Richard
multiplicity of conflicts of interests of
Woods, Tiger
alleged fairway fart by